i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
