Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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