Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
