Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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