Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
