i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize