I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize