i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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