Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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