Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
