fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
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