sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
