He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
