He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
