Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
