It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
