We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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