at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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