we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize