i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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