Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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