At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
