He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
