Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize