Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
