That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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