ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
