after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
