That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
