He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize