i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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