She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
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Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
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At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I am one with the molecules
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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