New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
