We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
