this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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