Dual....:-)
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
