i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
