I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Randomize
