...so i touched it.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
