The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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