apparently the secret to your success is patron
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
