i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize