I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Randomize
