one might say we're banned from that church
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
