mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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