Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
try to milk me bitch
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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