Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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