Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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