ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
