dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
