I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
