bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
