sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
