Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
