So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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