Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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