Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
