Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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